Growing and Changing!

Nothing too deep tonight. Just contemplating all of the recent, exciting things that Elle has learned. It's amazing how excited a mommy and daddy can get at the sight of a little one learning a new skill. Whether it is learning NOT to do something or learning to DO something. Literally, it seems like one day she can't do something, and then BANG, she does it! It never fails to amaze me. I know that many of these things seem basic and so yesterday to most seasoned moms, but I guess for a new mama, I'm allowed to revel in my daughter's genius ability to fill in the blank :-)

1.) As mentioned in a previous post, Elle has sort of learned "NO EAT." This is most often said when she sees shoes...my shoes, daddy's shoes, my slippers, daddy's slippers, her shoes, the dolly's shoes, a visitor's shoes... the list goes on. One of Bernhard's students came over the other day and took off her shoes. Elle made a mad dash---straight for the shoes!

2.) Elle took forever to crawl, but when she finally did, she cruised just days later, and the next week took her first steps!

3.) On Easter I was drinking pear sparkling cider and she reached for my glass. So, why not? I gave her a sip. She made a face like she had just had wine for the first time, and then she smiled and dove towards the glass with her mouth wide open. Her first drink from a cup and her first taste of carbonation :-o...burp! The next day she grabbed the cup in the bathtub and held it with both hands and proceeded to drink water.

hmmmmm what is this?


'gimme' more!!

4.) She tasted her first marshmallow peep! Let's just say pink sugar and gooey marshmallow makes for messy fun.

What's this??

Wow! How fun!


This is amazing!!!!

5.) On a visit to Uncle Paul's in Duluth I let her try the carpeted stairs for the first time. She took off and climbed the whole staircase. A couple of days later the gate to our wood staircase was left open and she went through the gate and up to the second stair before I knew it! She was fine, and mama helped her climb the rest of the way up.

Look at me!

5.) She suddenly picked up a tambourine and started to shake it and hit it.

6.) Elle has never showed an interest in clapping. Two weeks ago, without prompting, she put her hands together and started clapping...mom's jaw drops. Today we were watching tv and some people were clapping (heard, not seen) and she starts clapping...mom and dad's jaws drop!

Well, these are just a few run of the mill things that never cease to amaze me that have happened all in such a very short time. I'm sure that as time goes on I will be yelling at the top of my minds ear, "Stop growing up so fast. What happened to my little baby?" This made me think of the country song by Kenny Chesney, Don't Blink. Here are the lyrics:

I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."

(chorus)Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip it over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth
(Chorus Repeat)
So I've been tryin' ta slow it down
I've been tryin' ta take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in
(Chorus Repeat)
Naw, don't blink
Life Goes Faster Than You Think
Don't Blink...

~~Sarah

Feeling Naked:-0

Beginning a blog has been fun...and interesting. At first I excitedly wrote down my experiences, but last night as I previewed my post I got this strange feeling that I was "baring my soul," my inner most thoughts...I felt almost naked, or "nakey" as we now say in our house. It's not like I plan on airing my dirty laundry, but sitting down and putting your thoughts into words made me feel vulnerable for some reason. "Who's reading my post out there in the world wide web?" Now, who all did I send my blogging e-mail too? What do they think of my thoughts? Those were the thoughts that what was floating through my tired mind. After I re-read it, and Bernhard (hubby) read it, I clicked on publish, and there went my thoughts right to my blog page.

As I was pondering this feeling, while I was cleaning the house this morning, I realized that many of these thoughts really never leave my mind most of the time. How often do we have big old conversations with ourselves about ideas, but never share them? Or, share them with someone and not really feel like you explained it right or were even heard... That never happens, does it??

I hope that you enjoy reading my thoughts and feelings and seeing the pictures of my growing little clan. I welcome your comments and thoughts as you read my posts and travel through my blog world with me!

Elle giving "kiss, kiss" to her bouncing Rody today on March 19


Elle discovering that she could climb the stairs, with Mama's help of course!

To work or not to work...that is the question?

Well, my 3 weeks of work ended today! I don't know whether to take a sigh of relief or to stick my lip out and pout :-( As I finished my last session, a student said "will you come back to visit? Can you come to my house? Here's my phone # 952.... , just remember it!" He made me smile, and I realized that my time traveling all those miles was worth it. I received other nice feedback from teachers and staff, and it helped me see that I could step outside of my comfort zone and be successful. See, working with kids with EBD (emotionally/behaviorally disturbed) hasn't necessarily been my focus over the years, and that population always kind of made me feel inadequate. I'm not sure why I let a bunch of kids make me feel that way, but I guess there is no hiding behind the music. These kids are not slow to point out ANY and ALL shortcomings they see! Today I brought in my wind instruments (trumpet, trombone etc.) and I am not the best player on these instruments. As I was playing the trumpet, one student pointed out "your flat, your out of tune..." even though I was just "chipping" notes. Boy can those comments get to you! I finally had to explain that "yes, I realize that I am not very good on most of the instruments, except the flute" and don't you dare tell me my flute playing is out of tune... I thought to myself! As I drove away I got a tear in my eye. I really do love my work as a music therapist. I keep praying that God will show me where he wants me to use my gifts. I feel like I got a sneak peek into possibly balancing life as a mom and as a music therapist.

Well, when I pulled back in the driveway, came inside and saw my little girl crawl through the kitchen to meet me, I realized that she is my most important focus. She has been changing so much lately, from crawling to cruising, to crawling up the steps, to learning "no eat" when it comes to shoes (she has a love for shoes already!) and other unmentionables, to beginning to sign "all done" and "milk." Amazing, astonishing, incredible love!

Lions and tigers and bears, Oh My!!!

...but don't forget orangutans too! Today was Elle's first trip to the zoo! Yes, Minnesotan's do go to the zoo in the winter (it's a nice escape). We went to the free Como Zoo (did I mention free?) and Conservatory with Bernhard's mom, Grandma Jo. It was just a magical moment watching Elle discover and star starry eyed at the monkeys, and the giraffes, the zebra, and the fish!! But, the most amazing moment for me didn't directly have to do with Elle. It had to do with the mommy orangutan and her baby, Jaya. I looked down into the bottom of the exhibit, and there she was holding her baby close to herself. It almost looked like she was nursing, and then I saw her baby reach for her hair and pull it, hit her mama's head, and then cuddle up to her. Instantly, the tears flowed as I saw Elle in my mind (she was with Dad looking at the ape) reaching up and pulling what little hair I have out of my head (I'm afraid that I don't have nearly as much hair as the mama orangutan). I stood there as everyone else looked on at the same scene and I couldn't help but feel that every mom there was having the same feeling. I was truly moved by God's amazing creation. Sometimes I am still overwhelmed that I am a mom. I have joined a lifetime "club" of moms, both human and of the animal world. One that I couldn't really comprehend until I held my little Eleanor Joy in my arms. And one that I am still growing to feel like a full fledged member of.

God created us all to love our children and to fiercely care for and protect those He has allowed us to raise. God loves my little Elle so much, that He gave her to me to raise...and He gave the cute little Jaya to the mama orangutan to love, care for and to protect. God bless mamas.

Choo, Choo...No, Don't STOP!!!!

So, yesterday on my long drive into work (my new subbing position), I had the brilliant idea to take hwy 13 in order to avoid the traffic/snow delays on 494W. Ahh, that was NOT a good plan. Everyone was trying to avoid the 35W/ Burnsville problems and took 13 also. Needless to say, my 45-50 min. drive took me 1hr and 45 min :-0 I squealed into my room 15 min. before my first session. I felt like a complete fish out of water! No time to collect my thoughts, plan for my sessions, review what on earth the kid's names were, WHERE ANYTHING WAS!!! So, I started out kind of with my hands tied behind my back... My sessions went ok. One was not so good, but I survived and no kids or therapists were injured in the process.

So.....that brings me to today. Today I was bound and determined that I was going to be early... I had a meeting at 8:30 and sessions at 9, so my plan was to be there at 7:30. Everything was going well until I got stopped behind a train. What, a train???? Ok, hurry up I thought, I will NOT be late today too. So, I waited, and waited, and waited...until the train just stopped in the middle of the road!! I'm sorry, but trains just don't STOP in the middle of the road, needless to say during rush hour on hwy. 5!! Thankfully there was an opening for me to turn around and I backed up and got the he@# out of there! As I was driving alongside the train (heading away from work) I saw that cars were back up for miles and LOTS of people were going to be terribly late, and probably even miss planes (the airport is close by).

Well, after some creative driving I got to work and had a great day. All the sessions went pretty well, and I felt prepared. I was told by the gym teacher that the Jr. High kids really liked me. I surprisingly said "really, how do you know??" and she said they kept talking about how great I was. Pretty amazing considering only 2 out of the 8 sort of participated and the rest complained constantly about my choice of songs...maybe it was just the 2 talking? Phew, now I really need a weekend and time with my Elle. I really missed her, and I only worked 3 days this week :-(

...some cheese with my wine...

Sniff, sniff, ACHOO! Maybe some sharp cheddar to go with my cabernet...no, no, not that kind of wine, I am whining because I have a stupid cold. I have evaded the flu, and a whole host of other illnesses most of the winter, until now. The one time I have something planned (except for my trip to Florida in April, but lets not jinx that)! Yesterday I started working for my old co-worker while he goes on his 3 week honeymoon, and the day before I got a miserable cold :-( I have been looking forward to working for him ever since he asked.

It seems strange to say that I haven't worked for almost 1 year!! Elle is almost 11 months old now, and I have been thrilled to be able to stay home with her. However, part of me feels odd not working... I really love what I do and love the students I work with. Being a stay at home mom, or the new term "a soccer mom" (not that Elle is fully playing soccer yet...just piano, violin, and baby Olympics :) is amazing though, and I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with her. I keep praying that the Lord will open up some doors so that I can keep the music therapist part of me alive and not give up the amazing time I get with my daughter. Well, on to sniffling and planning out sessions for students I don't know!! Lets hope I can sing tomorrow...