Sarah's Spot: December 2008

Quandary. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word as:

"a state of perplexity or doubt"

Now put Santa in the definition, and you probably understand my dilemma. Let me take you back 30 or so years ago. My parents never told us that Santa was real (or the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy etc...). We just had fun with Santa. We went to sit on his lap at the mall. Got presents from Santa. We generally, enjoyed the concept of a Santa Claus, but I never thought that he shimmied down our non-existent fire place, ate the cookies that we left for him, or magically brought us our gifts. Our gifts appeared under our Christmas tree, wrapped by mom, about a week before Christmas. Our presents would start to appear and my brother and I would just sit and stare at our mysterious, unopened gifts. Occasionally, one of us would pick at the corner of our package to try and guess what it might be by the color of the box...always ready to blame the cat for the inconvenient rip that appeared. However, even though the presents appeared before Christmas, specially marked presents always managed to appear on Christmas morning marked "To Sarah, From Santa..." AKA "from Dad."

Now, as I grew up and realized that their were kids out there who actually BELIEVED that Santa was real, I quickly became confused. I vividly remember my neighbor who babysat us making up an untrue-grandiose story to her daughter about Santa, because, I, the unbeliever, commented that Santa wasn't real. I had strong feelings back then of being confused and angry that Diane would lie to her daughter?!? I didn't understand the "mystique" of Santa, but I did know the fun of the concept of Santa.

So, a couple of weeks ago I was driving with my neighbor's niece and nephew (ages 12 & 13) and I decided to ask them about what they thought. They said that they believed in Santa until they were about 9 & 10!! I asked them if they were disappointed or felt lied to when they found out that Santa wasn't real, and they said they didn't think so. I got the hint that they sort of did, but didn't want to admit it. I asked them why I should tell Elle that Santa is real, and they said, "so that Elle has something to look forward to." Now I tell you, "I certainly looked forward to Christmas. Are you kidding, all of those presents under the tree!!!"

I look at Elle and part of me wants to go along with the "norm," but a bigger part of me dreads all of the inevitable questions and lies I would have to make up in response....I had decided as I child that I would not lie to my kids. I think that kids need to learn the difference between make believe and real. That doesn't mean that you still do not have FUN with make believe. I want her to know that Santa is make believe, but Jesus birth was REAL! Some people teach that the Bible was just a book of made up stories...those were real, Cinderella was make believe. I want Elle to love God, but have fun with make believe. Am I philosophising way...

I interrupt this blog with a visit to the 1 1/2 year old who has
the post Christmas toy, have to go to sleep while all of my
new toys are lying there, wanting to be played with,
and I am in my crib fighting sleep...BLUES...

...too much? Oh well, I guess that I have 364 days left until next Christmas, where hopefully I will have been able to make peace with my childhood confusion, and have decided what to say to Elle about the man in the red suit.

(Just to be clear, we have a disagreement in the house. After Bernhard proof read my blog, he informed that that he was not disappointed that he had believed in Santa, and that I should indeed tell her that Santa is real...)