To work or not to work...that is the question?

Well, my 3 weeks of work ended today! I don't know whether to take a sigh of relief or to stick my lip out and pout :-( As I finished my last session, a student said "will you come back to visit? Can you come to my house? Here's my phone # 952.... , just remember it!" He made me smile, and I realized that my time traveling all those miles was worth it. I received other nice feedback from teachers and staff, and it helped me see that I could step outside of my comfort zone and be successful. See, working with kids with EBD (emotionally/behaviorally disturbed) hasn't necessarily been my focus over the years, and that population always kind of made me feel inadequate. I'm not sure why I let a bunch of kids make me feel that way, but I guess there is no hiding behind the music. These kids are not slow to point out ANY and ALL shortcomings they see! Today I brought in my wind instruments (trumpet, trombone etc.) and I am not the best player on these instruments. As I was playing the trumpet, one student pointed out "your flat, your out of tune..." even though I was just "chipping" notes. Boy can those comments get to you! I finally had to explain that "yes, I realize that I am not very good on most of the instruments, except the flute" and don't you dare tell me my flute playing is out of tune... I thought to myself! As I drove away I got a tear in my eye. I really do love my work as a music therapist. I keep praying that God will show me where he wants me to use my gifts. I feel like I got a sneak peek into possibly balancing life as a mom and as a music therapist.

Well, when I pulled back in the driveway, came inside and saw my little girl crawl through the kitchen to meet me, I realized that she is my most important focus. She has been changing so much lately, from crawling to cruising, to crawling up the steps, to learning "no eat" when it comes to shoes (she has a love for shoes already!) and other unmentionables, to beginning to sign "all done" and "milk." Amazing, astonishing, incredible love!